Tuesday, March 03, 2020

No one fights alone - The secret to making life meaningful

No philosophy or politics today, just a few jet-lagged thoughts and observations from this weekend on watching others fighting the good fight for love and for life. As so many of us know, when cancer comes for you... no one fights alone. But not everyone fights in a way that everyone watching them, even from the sidelines, is lifted up by their fight as well. When one fight is fought as well as Tyler & Jessica Kasch have fought theirs, it's something that the rest of us would do well to take special notice of, if only for our own sakes.

I've met Tyler and his wife Jessica only a handful of times (he's the singer in the band our younger son Chad plays with, Hard Loss), but the fight they've fought, they clearly fought together, and they fought it in such a way that they not only won a five year reprieve from the most deadliest of foes, Glioblastoma brain cancer, but their fight has inspired their friends, and inspired onlookers like me, and even inspired a hockey team from 2,000 miles away, in that most jaded of all cities, Las Vegas, to take notice and join in with them. What Tyler & Jessica did in Vegas, most definitely did not stay in Vegas, and although cancer got to ring the last bell this weekend, it didn't win their fight, not by a long shot.
Selling bracelets for #JessicaStrong


One of their bandmates, Ryan, commented this weekend that: "...Tyler wrote a song for Jessica about her fight with cancer. When we performed the release show at Delmar Hall, it was a truly powerful moment he explained the meaning of "No One Fights Alone"[YouTube & lyrics at bottom] It still stands as one of my favorite live moments...". I saw them perform it that night, and during other gigs as well, and each time Tyler introduces the song, he talks about the wife that he so clearly loves with all his heart, and he brings the crowd along with them into the song and to their feet, and into the fight, and into living life. No one fights alone indeed.

Miraculously, Jessica had been cancer free for over five years, but late last year it returned with a vengeance. They fought back by continuing to live every day without retreating, and their friends rallied around them throughout.
Tyler reached out to Jessica's favorite hockey player, Jonathan Marchessault, of her favorite hockey team, the Las Vegas Golden Knights, and both responded with an invitation to attend a home game in Las Vegas as their special guests. Accepting that invitation with her worsening condition was no easy task, an airline flight being too  much stress for her, so they drove out to Vegas in an RV to be the special guests of the team.
We happened to be in Vegas this last weekend visiting family for my wife's birthday, just after they'd been there, and I saw the 7 minute broadcast on the local TV News Channel dedicated to them and to their battle. Jessica passed during the Knights game Saturday night, and the station broadcast another tribute to her afterwards.

Life is meaningful. Joy is meaningful. Love is meaningful. And the hard truth is that meaningfulness comes with enduring repeated setbacks and stunning heartbreak, but fighting for it all is meaningful, no matter how it might seem to end. How you live, and how you love and how you fight for both, is not only meaningful but infuses and inspires those involved, even those looking on from the sidelines, with meaningfulness as well.

No one fights alone. It is heartbreaking. It is tragic. I can't imagine Tyler's pain. Pain is what comes with life and it isn't optional, but what is optional, what only comes from living your life and joining your life to another for the fight, is inspiration that lights and lifts other's lives, even in the lowest of moments. Jessica & Tyler fought the good fight by each other's side... and what a magnificent fight they fought. Well done.

As Tyler said: "Jessica DID NOT lose her battle. My girl would never let that happen. She was swinging right up until her and god decided it was her time."

She did not, they did not, lose the battle. They won it, and their example has helped others to fight the battle, and to not fight it alone. Philosophy is born in wonder, and few things are more full of wonder than two fighting for love and life together; that is where we all find life becoming meaningful, by not fighting the good fight alone. As has been said before, 'no one gets out of life alive', but that's not the point, the point is to live while you are alive - that's the fight that's worth fighting, and by fighting that good fight, there's no way you can lose.

Hard Loss - "No One Fights Alone"

Time stood still, it took everything not to cry
And I fell down, I didn't want to leave your side
We're gonna make it out alive,
I promise everything's alright,
Just brave, you'll say,

It's just a bad day, It's not a bad life, finding the light,
in all the motion, and I won't
Ever let go, never give up, I'll be your rock,
'cause you're my ocean
You are my ocean

No one fights alone, no one fights alone
No one fights alone, no one fights alone

We're gonna make it out alive
I promise everything's alright,
Just brave, you'll say,

It's just a bad day, It's not a bad life, finding the light,
in all the motion, and I won't
Ever let go, never give up, I'll be your rock,
'cause you're my ocean
You are my ocean

It's just a bad day, It's not a bad life, finding the light,
in all the motion, and I won't
Ever let go, if you won't give up, I'll be your rock,
'cause you're my ocean
You are my ocean

Everyday at some point I'm a mess
So I make these, promises
to myself, and with god, we spoke just last night,
he said he's on your side, he said you'll be just fine

It's just a bad day, It's not a bad life, finding the light,
in all the motion, and I won't
Ever let go, never give up, I'll be your rock,
'cause you're my ocean
You are my ocean

It's just a bad day, It's not a bad life, finding the light,
in all the motion, and I won't
Ever let go, if you won't give up, I'll be your rock,
'cause you're my ocean
You are my ocean

No one fights alone, no one fights alone
No one fights alone, no one fights alone
No one fights alone, no one fights alone
No one fights alone, no one fights alone


Jessica appears in the opening and close of
Hard Loss's video "In The Grey:
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